"yes" and "no"

I wnt to smile but negative forces surrounds me everytime that person who i value the most is on background. I wnt to be a better person when she's around for her to feel comfortable with my company. I miss those times that we are together before, sharing something running thru our heads, sharing laughters that our face could give. Those stuffs turned into dusts in just one click, because of a word that came off from my mouth. The word that changed everything around us. The word that expresses what i really feel inside. A word that must please everyone turns out to be the word that betrayed me. Because of that word, i may lose the one that is so precious to me in just a snap of my fingers. The word that can make my life incomplete by erasing this experience of meeting someone like her that made me say "this is it" in my lifester's bloglist.

I'm ready to be hurt....again... for the nth time... but this time i'm sure it will mark on my memory the day that she entered my life.

-insekta-

seeing you for a while makes me smile

its been a good and bad morning... ill go with the bad ones first... im so tired to get up in my bed this morning because my body's aching because of the workout done in our cheering practice last night. I also had a slight headache... because we drunk with my friends last night and i already got home about 2 in the morning. When i got home, i didn't sleep yet... but instead opened my laptop and surf the net for some minutes until the time i feel so sleepy and left my laptop running beside me sleeping. Now done with the bad ones, its now the turn for the "good" ones... what made me feel so good this morning despite of having achy mind and body? hmmm first is when my mom buzzed me and have some little conversations with her... i missed my mom because when i left home last week, she also went out and went to her province for the burial of my great grandmother *sad*... hmmm after a little conversations with her, she bid her goodbye to me because she had a lot of things to do in the office. After that, i've seen "her" online in my messenger. Thankz to her she gave me a chance to talk to her for quite some time.. hmmm it gves me a different kind of happiness... happiness that covers the pain i'm feeling this past days... i feel that it will not last... oh well that's for now... hmmm need to fix myself first for this day's activities... gudmorning...

-insekta-

never saw myself in someone's eyes... until this day with you

Until This Day - Kenotia

When you know, you know. I know with you I'm going to go somewhere I've never been.
But it's where I want to be, I breathe easy for the first time.

I never got much out of this life,
Never saw myself in someone's eyes until this day.
Never had the things I really wanted,
Never had the things that people flaunted
Until this day with you.

I cant explain just how changed how I see myself now, its amazing.
I never want this feeling to leave me. Please don't ever leave me.

I never got much out of this life,
Never saw myself in someone's eyes until this day.
Never had the things I really wanted,
Never had the things that people flaunted
Until this day with you

I never saw this coming on And now that its here i wont let go
this could save me

I never got much out of this life,
Never saw myself in someone's eyes until this day.
Never had the things I really wanted,
Never had the things that people flaunted
Until this day with you
I know this is the best thing for me, the best thing for me.

a statement expressed thru words

"why did u do it?".... Question that was asked to me by different persons... But i gave them one answer.... "Its a statement expressed not thru words"...

Why i did it?? hmmm simply because of one reason... To show others that i really changed... That i already learned to love and not to fool around with women... Why that way? I know it is a stupid thing to do, but i think it is a way for me to express myself the way people will believe in what i want to say. Most people don't believe on what the mouth expresses... In my case... they wouldn't believe me if i tell them "i love her", because people have an impression of me of being a playboy... even "her" will not believe in me if i tell her those words... I think that what i did will show the world my sincerity with the name written beneath my skin... that i'm not fooling around with her... many are telling me that i dnt need to do that stuff.. but for me i need to... coz this is a way to make a statement to the world and to the one i love that are not expressed thru words, coz words lie sometimes...

mybe you're curious about what i'm talkin about... hmmm just approach me when you see me in the corridors and ask me bout this stuff.. i won't hesitate to show you that... that stuff that others call an "emo" stuff... for me, its not an emo thing.... its a statement expressed thru my skin and veins, not thru my liar mouth...


-insekta-