shades of purple in my dark world.

Well i will make something new this time in this blog. I will going to write the rest of the blog in my own language. They say it is more sincere if you express yourself in your own language, mostly if the topic is all about love. Oh well my introduction's getting longer. I'll start ahead. Here it goes:

Simpleng tao lng aq.. Un bang tipong nkatambay lng sa corridors ng building nmin minutes before ng klase q... nkaupo sa bench, pro kng minalas malas ka at mraming nkaupo, d maiwasang maupo sa lapag. Lagi qng kabonding ang mp3 player q at mkinig ng mga tugtuging para sa iba ay itinuturing nlang "ingay" na para sa akin ay musika. Ang tanging paraan ng mga musikerong ito ay idaan ang kanilang tunay na nararamdaman sa pamamagitan ng musika... May mga nagsasabing ako ay kabilang sa mga "Emo". Lagi kze aqng nkablack tpos yung buhok e nkaporkupine ung likod habng my bangs. Nakakatuwang isipin na sa katayuang kong ito ay my magtitiwala pa rin sa kakayahan qng magsayaw (dati sayaw hilig q, nalipat lng ng banda at rakrakan nitng college na aq). Nkasali aq sa grupo na kakatawan sa aming kolehiyo sa isang mhalagang event na gnaganap sa skul.. Ndi q naman namamalayan, ito na pla ang simula ng isang kwentong magbabago sa buhay q sa hinaharap.

nkikita q xa madalas sa lobby ng perfecto nun, kasali kze xa sa isa pang grupo ng college nmin pra sa ibang category. Simple lng xa.. pro wag ka.. may dating xa... boyish tingnan... akala q nga tibo eh... pro ndi nmn pla... Tpos mdalas pa xa pmupunta sa rum kng san kme nagpapraktis, kze kaibigan nya ang ilan sa grupo nmin. Sobrang ncucutan talaga aq sa knya. lam mu ung tipong pg sumasayaw kme sana mpunta na ung tugtog dun sa part na ung place q ung mlapt sa knya... pra mkita q xa ng malapitan (ang sama q ngai... my gf aq nung mga time na to). bsta un... d q maiwasan tlaga na mapatingin sa knya pag andun xa sa rum nmin. Dancefest na... Haiz kala q manonood xa... wla xa sa gym... ok skip na... d q na sasabihin na nagchampion kme... aun.. hehehehe.... After dancefest, dramafest nmn... nku e2 un tym na nagkalabuan kme ng gf q hanggang sa ma2loy sa break up... Sbrang nalulungkot aq nung mga tym na un... umiiyak sa kwarto, nagdadabog, nagpapaka emo, binibingi ang sarili sa mga 22guing msarap sa tenga q pro delubyo pra sa nakakarami. dumaan ang mga araw... napagicp icp q... kelangan q libangin sarili q... kelangan mgpakasaya... aun nkapagdecide aq na pmunta ng sm....mag qquan2m xempre... namis q kya un... oh well anyway. naglalakad na aq... nkita q grupo nla... hmmm ung kakilala q lng bnati q... xmpre shyness pa aq sa knla lalo sa knya kze ndi nmn kme mgkakakilala talaga. sa muka lng.. aun... tpos nun e2 na nsa quan2m aq... ngulat aq nandun dn cla... hla nkita nla hidden talent q... ang magpara para hahaha... aun... after ng sandamakmak na pawis na tumagaktak sa muka q at sa mga mantikang inilabas ng katawan q sa pamamagitan ng pawis, nag yaya ung kakilala q dun na mg videoke.. aun nagkabonding bonding kme, hanggang sa nakilala q 2ng mga kolokoy na 2... kme ay tinatawag na "famillia" ngaun. Aun sa unang litrato q sa grupo, my nalaman aq... ayon s knila, my crush daw xa skn... huwaw!!! c cutie my gus2 sa kn... wheeeeeee nkikilig nmn dw aq inside d lng hlata outside... knwaring deadma pro dip inside nagtatatalon ang mga nervez q... aun... tpos pauwi na... xet holding handz kme... ayaw q pa humiwalay sa aking mga new found friends pero kelangan (pakxhet ung pnabiling sundae nila ate angge and kuya aljo). Pag alis q, bitbit q ang mga alaala ng araw na iyon na nakilala ko xa. Sa mga sumunod na araw, aun normal bonding lng kme with them. Hanggang isang gbi, nagkabiruan na mgdte kme sa valentines. Hndi q alm na i2ng biro na 2 ay my maidudulot sa akin na kakaiba.

Valentines.. 4am p lng gcng na aq... aun ng GM sa famillia greeting them with happy heartz day.. nag GM din xa mga 7 na ata un... ng greet din ng happy valentines day... tpos sa gm nya meron part dun na cnasabi nya na thankz sa ngreet sa knya ng mdaling araw... lufet ng effort dw... akala nla aq un (actually akala q tlaga aq un...) aun... ang feeling nuh... nung tym na wla pa aqng gift sa knya... I keep on telling her d day before valentines na my mga "surprise" aq sa knya (d nmn xa nsurprise... d nmn kze tlaga surprise e.. mga bgay lng un na ggwin q na ndi q ssbhn s knya.)... Surprise #1... Plano q tlaga magpalonghair ulet... pro in this case inisantabi q muna... ngpagupit aq... hahah d ngay nila nahalata... amf... sket... huhuhu... aun... Surprise #2... Roses with serenade... gling lahat sa kin... kze kme ung ngseserenade dun sa valentine's booth ng college nmin... aun... knantahan q xa nun tpos bnigyan ng 3 red roses in front of the class.. Surprise #3... wla aqng maicp n ibgay na gift s knya... aun buti n lng nung nsa sm n kme, ngpnta cla ng dept. store sa hndi mlaman na kadahilanan.. aun niyaya q ung isang frend q na maghanap ng gift pra s knya... nkarating kme ng bearhugz, blue magic, toy kingdom... pro wla aqng mkitang mgnda na igift s knya... kya ang huling bagsak, bearhugz ulet... niemas kng san kme ngcmula mghanap dun din kme mkakabli... aun... i bought a purple stuff toy... wla aqng idea ng kulay na mgnda.. e nung tym na un aq ung my dla ng bag nya... kulay purple... aun... tpos buti my stock pa cla nung violet na bear (kze my bumili na nung nkadisplay dun.)... aun my gift din pla xa skn nun... hehehe white polo shirt... ang gnda pramiz... ndi aq ng whwhite tlaga pro special un s kn kya love q na ung shirt na un... aun... pgkatapos ng buong araw ng bonding and sharing the spirit of the valentines day, i realized something. It started as a game, but why i felt that i'm falling in love with her. Falling again for the 11th time, but this time, with nothing stopping me to express myself and what i feel.


kng mababasa mu man ito... i want 2 tell you this... i know mabilis ito... we've known each other for weeks now. as these days pass by, we didn't notice that we shared something special. What hve u gave me made me fall for you... Mabilisan nga ito pro e2 na eh... papanindigan q na nararamdaman q sau... mahal kta... i may not be the better guy for you, but i will give my best for you to feel comfortable with my company. i didn't expect that we will came this far in that short period of time that we know each other. Pero ganun pa man, msya aq. This is an experience of a lifetime that will be treasured by me. Another journal entry in my lifester's bloglist. Thankz for passing by lady in flipflops and violet id strap in my life. Hope you have enjoyed your stay...

=grewpaineclipse=

sidewalk

i was on my way home this evening when i saw this young girl selling cigarrettes and candies in the sidewalk near my school. I've seen this girl before in the same setting, but different day. We are walking in the same sidewalk with my friends and we bought some candies and my buddy bought a stick of cigarrette from this girl. It was late then, about 9pm, but this girl is still sitting beside her stocks of cigars and candies without any company. I asked the girl how old is she. She said she was 12 years old. I can't imagine that a 12 year old girl is engaged in that kind of thing even it was already late. I told her that she must not be sitting there and selling at that time but instead sitting at their home studying and spending her time with her family. As i walk along the sidewalk and saw her again in that place doing the same thing as before, it made me think of something. Why are her parents letting her stay there the whole night and sell instead of letting her stay at home. We all know that it is dangerous to stay too late outside, but this girl, putting the other half of her feet to the grave, is still outside the four corners of their house. Maybe i don't know the real story behind that scenario, but i feel pity for the girl and madness to her parents. This girl may have a lot of things to do as the time goes by. Explore and discover new things as she grow up. All of these may not be put into action because of these factors that stop her from living her live and fulfilling her dreams. May God guide this young girl as the people pass by and always keep her out of danger, and may He also enlighten her parents to end the agony of the girl and let her live a happy normal life...

=grewpaineclipse=

Higinia - Bless The Fall

If you could stay here for just a little bit a little while a little bit with me
You`re what makes me
And if God could keep you with me
I`d trade just about anything
You`re what makes me want to change things
I would die just to live and yet we all live to die
You`re what makes me want to change
You will not die
Take a step further back to where you belong
Take a look at your life what have you become
I never had the chance to explain myself
I never had the chance to apologize, but you will not die

=+= blessthefall =+=

awesome

unforgettable experience with the familia happened this evening when me, aaron (bitter), G-unit (emo/hiphop), karen, kuya BJ, and Max (dadoodz) watched the concert of Kenyo in the event center of SM (go Bulacan Pride).. Its been a long time since the last time i watched a concert of a band and this one will be definitely an unforgettable one. We enjoyed the good music of kenyo as they play their mellow songs and songs from the former Orange and Lemons (where most of the band members of kenyo are the former members of the band). They played my favorite song of them that is entitled "Heaven Knows (this Angel has Flown)" and as they played the song, the crowd sang with them till the end of the song. Two things struck me the most with this evening. The first one is when a retarded (sorry for the term) sang with kuya mcoy of kenyo with an english song, i forgot the title hehehehe. We are so amazed from what this guy did on the stage, singing the whole song while the crowd cheered on him. We didn't expect that he can sing that well because of his mental state. But imagine, even a person with mental disorder can do such things such as singing. The other one is this (better be prepared). In the middle part of the gig, kuya mcoy asked the crowd for 4 volunteers to participate in a game. I was pushed by my buddies to volunteer in that game that no one has an idea what the game is all about. Want to know what the game's all about? Here it is. We need to interpret in our own way the song that will be played by the band. Not that easy, coz we need to interpret in a "SEXY" manner. When it was already my turn, i don't have an idea on what to do. I just did an impromtu move based on the beat of the drums in the song, with some seducing move, with my fellow bulakenyo kuya mcoy singing the song. I just enjoyed that, hoping that i gave the crowd a simple smile on their faces at that moment.

Oh well that's what the night is all about. A night that is full of laughter, stories, and good thoughts that will be kept in my life's journal. I'll end up here. Back to work. :D

black turns red

yesterday is one of the days that every couple have time with their partners to share, bonding and make one feel the love of the other. Valentines day. For others, including me, called it "Single Awareness Day". It is my first Valentine's day without a partner. But its ok with me. Even though i don't have that "special" one yesterday, i have the familia celebrating the valentine's day with me. I have my "special persons" with me in this event that will be memorable to our heartz and minds. Happy valentine's day familia

=+= jhemz, bujie, aaron, ely, dadu max, mamu bang, azea, karen, mamita betz, droid =+=

doesn't matter

In this life, it is not important if you have all the luxury. Precious jewels, Signature clothes, latest gadgets, and millions of cash. What is more important is to have real friends, friends that will not leave you in the midst of your downfalls. These are the most important treasures a human being must keep. A treasure that has a higher value than any thing else in this world. All things in the world have their prices, but having true friends are priceless. How to have true friends? The answer is simple, be TRUE to yourself and show others the REAL you. How will you know if the people whom you treat as friends are considered as a true friend? Simple, they must accept you of what you are. Accept you in any perspective view. Will not leave you in your current state. To end this up, friends are treasured, not just collected. As the time goes by, their value don't depreciate, unlike luxuries that in a certain time will be out of the scene.

This was inspired of a movie i watched this morning when i went home after my networks exam. One part of the movie is that a teenage guy realized that it is not important if you have lots of money, influences, girls, cars and other luxuries. What is more important is his real friends, who accepted him as who he was...

familia... thankz for the bonding that we have this past days.... I really enjoyed your company... Hope to see in you my REAL Friends.... I've just started knowing you guyz.. It's still a long way to run... Hope to know u more... Love You Familia...

I'll always be the lucky one

Your Universe - Rico Blanco

Tell me something
When the rain falls on your face
How do you quickly replace
It with
A golden summer smile?

Tell me something
When i'm feelin' tired and afraid
How do you know just what to say
To make
Everything alright?

Chorus:
I don't think that you even realize
The joy you make me feel when i'm inside
Your universe
You hold me like i'm the one who's precious
I hate to break it to you but its just
The other way around
You can thank your stars all you want but
I'll always be the lucky one

Tell me something
When i'm 'bout to lose control
How do you patiently hold
My hand
And gently calm me down?

Tell me something
When you sing and when you laugh
Why do i always photograph
My heart
Flyin way above the clouds?

socialization level

my uncle told me before that we must involve ourselves in the outside world to build our own identity and self confidence. He also told me that these two characteristics will help you to succeed in life, not just having an outstanding intelligence quotient or high grades in school. Every person today must possess a balanced intelligence quotient and emotional quotient. People need to socialize to meet and learn how to deal with different . People also need to expand their capacity to learn and discover new things that will increase their knowledge. It is not a great factor if have only a high grades in school or having many friends. It must be the combination of two and it must be balanced.

** sorry i don't have a good topic for this night. I just remembered what happened this evening when i'm with the actors and actresses of CICS "again" hehehe. It is when me and my friend were buying food in a burger stand and I didn't noticed that my order was already done but another customer came in and got my order. I didn't react violently with a feeling of losing some socialization level at that time. I just told the seller in a low voice "ok lang po. Ung susunod n lng ung sa akin".... My mood really depends on the person who i'm talking to. If that person is a friend of mine, I easily share stories with them and crack some jokes to make them laugh. In the other hand, if the person who i'm talking is new to me, i don't easily talk 2 them about stuffs under the sun and i become a shy type of person. Oh well.. Hmm I don't know how to end this but maybe sharing this thought will help. Life is like a social networking site, full of connections with different people thru your friends. Use this connection to expand your friends list and make new friends and with them, you can share something interesting that will increase your knowledge and skills.

This image was my first picture with the group taken last night inside the KTV booth in SM. I'm supposed to post this one last night but i only got a copy of this this evening thru my friend. Oh well just a sharing.. :D

night with the actors

it was a great night for me. I thought that this will be an ordinary day like dis past days. It was unexpected that i met this group of people in our school and have myself new friends to hang out with. I'm talking about the CICS Dramafest Team (our college's actors and actresses... wheeeeeeee). The head or the "daddy" of the group is my friend and while i'm busy playing in a dance machine, he asked me if i want to join them in the KTV booth nearby the amusement park. At first, i refused to go with them because im thinking about the time, but when they asked me again, i decided to join them. Want to know why? Because of this text message from my housemate. This is what the message contains:

"Ok lng yan... Hehe, para nman mgaliw aliw ka paminsan minsan... hehehe"

That message became the bridge for me to know 7 individuals that will be added to my lifester's friends list. Slamat sa pagdaan sa buhay q... Hope u enjoy your stay... Welcome sa mundong gnagalawan ni Jhemz... Lesson learned... Enjoy life... Expand and make new friends... And lastly, Live with smiles not only in your face but also in your hearts and minds... @_@

=jhemz=
=grewpaineclipse=

Mount Third Year

Just got this thought from my data warehousing instructor this afternoon. He told the class, especially the 3rd years that are enrolled (the subject is an elective, so there are third years and fourth years currently enrolled) that "Third Year Second Semester is the Hardest part of college life of a student". He compared the third year of college like a mountain climbing activity. In the first semester, it was just a beginning of a long way up to the top of the mountain. In the second semester, you're already halfway. As you continue to climb up, the challenges that you'll be encountering become harder and harder, doubling the pain from the other half of the journey. You need to double your effort and prepare yourself for these challenges that will test your capabilities. The more you bleed when facing these tasks, the more chances of getting the highest price and reach the top of the mountain.

I'm just smiling after he said that but in deep inside of me, i realized that our instructor was right on what he said in class. We, junior students must exert much effort in all of our subjects in order to stay in the track, going all way up to success. Hardwork = Success not Hardwork = Failure. I'll move out after a long rest in the halfway of the trail. Climb all the way up to succeed and stand at the top of the "mt. third year IT".

forgotten identity

I remember someone from my high school days. He was a good dancer and a well-known by our batch because of his moves and how he rock the dance floor. He was also fun to be with. He had bunch of jokes to crack up with the group. He was also recognized as the only senior student that was a member of the Stepmasters (a dance group known in school) during our time. He has a heart of a dancer and dancing is his passion. Many girls in school admired him because of his moves and his looks, as said by many. I remember the time when we with our friends are together to hunt chicks around the place. He was the main man of the group, the one who will get to know the target and get her number. After graduation, things changed. He need to go to a far place to pursue his college career. He lost his interest in dancing at that time and chose to hold guitars instead. He became a rocker-dude and the worst, an emo kid. The guy with loose shirts and elephant pants transformed with a guy with tight jeans, black shirt, with porcupine hair and long bangs. As i walk along the corridors of our building, i always see the poster of our college's pop dance group, who recently claimed their 3rd consecutive championship in the SLU Dance Festival last January. It made me think of that person, from being a dancer and a rocker. Connected by one element -- Music. That person is me. Jhemz the Dancer and Jhemz the Rocker. Jhemz the Emo Kid? Not good.... Lol \m/,

an afternoon with a kid

I'm supposed to start creating this blog right after this story happened a week ago. Because of fully booked computer shops around the school and having no internet connectivity in our house, i wasn't able to make one. Now it is still stuck in my mind that day that coming out from nowhere, a little girl sat besides me and tell me stories and after that played with me for a short period of time. I was sitting infront of the eatery near the school when this little girl wearing her school uniform approached me and told me a story about dragons (sounds weird ryt?). After that she went inside their store and after a few minutes she came back with a small ball. She threw it to me and then i gave it back to her, until such time that we already playing in the middle of the people who are passing by. The time came that i really need to go to surf the net but the young girl don't want me to go and she wanted me to play with her. After that day, i always remember my childhood days. A little boy who loves to play and play and play all day long. Now, that little boy already grown up, with dreams and goals in life that he wanted to achieve. Sooner or later, that little girl i met and played with will grow up and move out with her dreams to be fulfilled as she goes by to this journey called "life".